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Feeling Stuck? Stressed? Well…Get Over It!

2016 is almost over.  At this time of the year, many of us can feel stressed, depressed, and stuck.  We may not have reached the goals we set at the beginning of the year.  Setbacks and failures can mount to where we don’t know how to pick up the pieces.  We hear you, and we’ve got tips to help you get over it!  Here’s a special one on one interview with empowerologist, Dr. Adair.  As a best-selling author and motivational speaker for the last 22 years, Dr. Adair has created various avenues for self-empowerment and resiliency strategies for women and teens.

IHTG:  You made the “jump” from a six-figure career of over 20 years.  How did you find the confidence to do it and why do you think it’s so hard for a lot of people? 

Dr. Adair:  I was unhappy at the time, and I’ve never been the type of person to wallow in unhappiness, despair, and misery.  I knew that I needed a change but was unsure what the change was.  After all, I had been comfortable in that position for many years and I actually still enjoyed many aspects of it, but because I found myself more unhappy than happy, I knew that a change was imminent.

My confidence is embedded in my spirit.  You see, I knew that my life was not just about what I wanted because I have Faith that God has a plan for me and orders my steps.  There were several life-changing events that happened to be over the course of the year that I walked away from that position that clearly impacted my worldview and my spirit.  Because my confidence is aligned with my spirit and my spirit was no longer actively engaged in the position I knew it was time to “walk away” and I also knew my confidence was intact.

Please understand, though, that I had a plan…I didn’t just wake up and say “I’m out!”  I was still working in another professional position that I also was passionate about, and I had written and released my first book.  Between the two of those and my strong belief that God had created this path for me to follow, I had the confidence to know and believed that everything would be alright.  So I took that leap of Faith, and everything was alright.

I think that it is challenging for others to make the “jump” because we have a natural fear of the unknown.  We are comfortable where we are because we are comfortable where we are.  It’s as simple as that.  I had a friend once tell me that we would rather “live in a comfortable hell than strive to be in an uncomfortable heaven” because it is easier there.  We know what to expect, and in many cases, we have conditioned our responses.  It’s easier for people to dream about their dreams because they know it can’t hurt to dream.  But the reality is that by just dreaming and not doing we are killing ourselves softly, and the pain is real.  We feel stuck.  We feel lost and then we are unhappy.  But you know what, people do it every day because it is easier and they don’t have a plan to change. You see, we own the power of change and it is up to us to change it…So many people do not claim that power… they give it away to someone else to make choices for them, and that’s how they get stuck.

There are so many other reasons why people don’t “make the jump” in their lives, but I honestly think the main reason is that they don’t “trust and believe, ” and that impacts their Faith, and in turn, they are afraid to make any changes…Without trusting and believing and having Faith, you cannot be resilient, and you cannot bounce back after hitting rock bottom if you land there.  It’s scary for folks, and that’s why many choose to remain in their comfortable hell. But you know what, I always say “Let your Faith be stronger than your fear” and then you will know that everything will be alright.

IHTG:  What are some of the hardest challenges you’ve faced as an entrepreneur?  And how did they make you stronger? 

Dr. Adair:  The hardest challenge for me as an entrepreneur was not knowing what to do next.  It was a different world for me.  I entered into the business world as an educator.  I had been a professional school counselor for 26 years and a college professor for 15 years, and the business world was a foreign world to me.  There were so many moving pieces that I had not been introduced to in my life, and it was confusing, scary and frustrating not to know what to do.  I thought that if I wrote my book, released it, told some friends and made a few calls that I would become a bestseller at that moment!  Wrong!

I learned that I still needed to learn.  I allowed myself to learn and absorb as much information as I could by enrolling in several mastermind courses to teach the steps I needed to know to be a successful, bestselling author and publisher.  I found successful mentors to teach me exactly what they did to reach the pinnacle of their success.  This was important to me and necessary to equip and empower me with the information I needed to have a successful business.  Knowledge is power, and that is what I needed to be stronger.

For me, failure was absolutely not an option so I had to learn how to create plans of actions that would guarantee my success in my new venture.  Once I developed my plans, then I knew that had the power to persevere in my passion and that made me stronger.

get over itIHTG:  Tell us about the Resiliency Formula.  Who is this book for and how can it help them? 

Dr. Adair:  I have eight books (6 are Amazon Bestsellers) and three curricula now that motivate, inspire and empower women and teens to make positive changes in their lives by becoming more resilient.

I created two plans that the Resiliency Formula encompasses. Through this formula I impart strategies that focus on overcoming odds, controlling anger, creating healthy balances, forgiving techniques, building dreams and reaching destiny points. My programs introduce six stages of self-empowerment that include rejuvenating natural resiliency in women and teens.

G.O.H.A.R.D.

G: Getting over yourself

O: Overcoming your odds

H: Hesitancy, Heart, Honesty, Hustling and a healthy balance

A: Anger and Artillery

R: Remembrance, Resilience, Restoration, Renewal and Righteousness

D: Dreams, Depth, and Destiny

B.E.L.I.E.V.E.

B = Birth Control

E = Emancipation

L = Listening and Leadership

I = Inner Integrity

E = Evolution of Emotions

V = Victory and Victorious

E = Ending

 

IHTG:  What’s a quick concept women can implement to change their outlook on their own possibilities? 

Dr. Adair:  Embracing the ideology that you must first “Change the way you think before you can change the way you behave.”  This concept was introduced to me by the writings of Carter G. Woodson in his book “The Miseducation of the Negro.”  I studied Mr. Wilson while completing my doctoral studies and this statement (this is the shortened version) illuminated within me because I realize that much of life and choices is about your mindset.  In order to implement real changes in your life, you have to believe that the changes are necessary.  If you make a change in your behavior but not in your mindset you are more likely to return to that previous behavior.  We see it all the time with addiction. Individuals will attend therapy, go through the motions but never really believe in the concepts so when it gets tough, and they are challenged, it’s easier for them to slide back into the addictive behavior.  It’s like putting band-aids on gunshot wounds…Yes, it may stop the bleeding for a minute, but then it will become infected, and the wound will never heal if surgery is not done.  If we don’t do the surgery on our mindsets then, our behavior will never really change.

IHTG:  As we close out 2016, many people are depressed as they face the reality that they may have missed some goals.  What advice would you give to them? 

Dr. Adair:  “Don’t Borrow Worries” and “Tomorrow is just a day away.”  If you create a viable and realistic action plan for change, trust and believe, allow your Faith to be stronger than your fear then you will know that everything will be alright.  You will be equipped and empowered to prosper and persevere in your passion.  It’s all a part of the path that God has created just for you… And, God “don’t make no mistakes.”

 

As we approach the holiday season, Dr. Adair White-Johnson presents The Resiliency Formula to help women overcome anything that has prevented them from fully thriving in 2016. Through The Resiliency Formula, she imparts strategies that focus on overcoming odds, controlling anger, creating healthy balances, forgiving techniques, building dreams and reaching destiny points.  You can learn more about Dr. Adair, her books, workshops, and coaching at www.dradairspeaks.net.

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